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Last week I was shocked when I signed on to Facebook and saw a post by Scott Cupp stating that KD Wentworth had died. Kathy was a complicated person who at her core cared deeply about helping people and she will be missed.
I first met Kathy years ago when I joined the Oklahoma Science Fiction Writer group. It was through Kathy that I was introduced to the world of SFF conventions, and it was with her encouragement that I pursued my goal of becoming a published author. Kathy took me under her wing at conventions and introduced me to a wide variety of people who would become close friends.
Kathy welcomed me into the impromptu dinner group, the Sunday brunch group, and the world of Thanks Again - complete Thanksgiving dinners with friends held after the official meal with family. For years, Kathy was my best friend, the person I called when I needed to talk, when I wanted to share an event, and when I needed a litle retail therapy. She helped get my husband Chris and I together and opened her home for our wedding. It is because of Kathy that I have a Harlan Ellison story in which I rended Harlan speechless AND received an apology from him.
Kathy and I ended our friendship years ago, and despite the fact that I knew intellectually we would never be able to heal the breach, I always harbored a secret hope that we would be able to do so. Now that will never happen, and I am both terribly sad and terribly angry.
The details are irrelevant, but Kathy and I both came to a line that neither of us could cross. Kathy's deep seated aversion to confrontation caused her to refuse to speak with me about a particular topic, and my absolute unwaivable requirement in any relationship is the ability to communicate when there is a problem. We don't have to agree, but we do have to be able to articulate when and why there is a problem.
A mutual friend sought to mediate the dispute and encourage us to heal the breach, and I will always be deeply grateful for her efforts. But the breach was too fundamental and deep seated. Kathy could not bring herself to engage in any discussion she viewed as a confrontation, and I could not bring myself to continue a friendship when I could not trust her to be honest with me. While I regret the way our friendship ended, there was no other choice, given who we both were.
It took me a while to realize that the end of our friendship was inevitable. The only way for it to have continued was for one of us to sacrifice a fundamental part of our personality, and that would have also spelled the end of the friendship. Once I accepted that, I stepped away and expanded my circle of friends in a different direction. While Kathy was no longer a part of my life, my life is better for having known her, annd the world was a better place with her in it. She will be missed.
I first met Kathy years ago when I joined the Oklahoma Science Fiction Writer group. It was through Kathy that I was introduced to the world of SFF conventions, and it was with her encouragement that I pursued my goal of becoming a published author. Kathy took me under her wing at conventions and introduced me to a wide variety of people who would become close friends.
Kathy welcomed me into the impromptu dinner group, the Sunday brunch group, and the world of Thanks Again - complete Thanksgiving dinners with friends held after the official meal with family. For years, Kathy was my best friend, the person I called when I needed to talk, when I wanted to share an event, and when I needed a litle retail therapy. She helped get my husband Chris and I together and opened her home for our wedding. It is because of Kathy that I have a Harlan Ellison story in which I rended Harlan speechless AND received an apology from him.
Kathy and I ended our friendship years ago, and despite the fact that I knew intellectually we would never be able to heal the breach, I always harbored a secret hope that we would be able to do so. Now that will never happen, and I am both terribly sad and terribly angry.
The details are irrelevant, but Kathy and I both came to a line that neither of us could cross. Kathy's deep seated aversion to confrontation caused her to refuse to speak with me about a particular topic, and my absolute unwaivable requirement in any relationship is the ability to communicate when there is a problem. We don't have to agree, but we do have to be able to articulate when and why there is a problem.
A mutual friend sought to mediate the dispute and encourage us to heal the breach, and I will always be deeply grateful for her efforts. But the breach was too fundamental and deep seated. Kathy could not bring herself to engage in any discussion she viewed as a confrontation, and I could not bring myself to continue a friendship when I could not trust her to be honest with me. While I regret the way our friendship ended, there was no other choice, given who we both were.
It took me a while to realize that the end of our friendship was inevitable. The only way for it to have continued was for one of us to sacrifice a fundamental part of our personality, and that would have also spelled the end of the friendship. Once I accepted that, I stepped away and expanded my circle of friends in a different direction. While Kathy was no longer a part of my life, my life is better for having known her, annd the world was a better place with her in it. She will be missed.
happy